Mission Statement

When awards arise, when my blog is mentioned, it falls into the category of "personal blog". Oh, no! It is so much more than that! Every entry revolves around Judaism. If I had wanted to write a personal blog, it would be so very different. This is not a personal accounting by someone who happens to be a Jewess, purely cultural stuff. This is an accounting of my life as it relates to G-d, to Judaism, and to religious experience.

In my opinion, a "religious blog" is not necessarily just about religious ideas; it is also about religious experience- the personal is the religious.

My life and days are organized and defined by the Jewish calendar, and Torah, and Conservative halacha; imperfectly, I admit, but still my ruling and organising force. How much more religious can it get? Cause I don't talk kosher, or Shabbat/halachic stringencies? Things I consider none of anyone's business?

This blog is a paean. To G-d. To Judaism. To my life as a Jew.

Necromancy Romance

I have a friend who sees and hears dead people. I am well aware of the interdiction in the Torah regarding mediums, and all forms of magic and prophecy-- avoid! It took me a long time to understand that the Torah was not debunking supernatural phenomena, but simply, telling us to stay away. And I wish I had.

My rav z"l died by suicide over a year ago. I come back into a world, my former shul, that is still torn apart, even more so, to the point of emptiness and darkness. Dramatic, I know, but true, nonetheless. The nature of his death has left everyone reeling, without compass, and of course, the vultures rush in to fill the space; not nasty, grasping, obvious vultures, but the ones that seduce and fill the hole, whether by authority, complacency, or smoke and mirrors. Take the vulnerable, and you can do anything with them, as the messianics have shown.

There have been people who have contacted mediums, because the trauma is so great, and the need for answers a driving, hungry, relentless force. The idea of dead people hanging out on this plane creeps me out, just as any notion of talking to the dead creeps me out, because...Why? Because I have a notion of life beyond the grave and that notion is as idealistic as the torch I carry for Judaism. Better to believe what tradition alludes to- that once dead you get 11 months of soul searching and then you move on.

So, it freaks me out when my granny shows up in my friend's eyes after 14 years, and her urgent message saves me from something psychologically terrible. My friend, who is terribly burdened by a gift which she largely keeps to herself. My friend, who ends up corroborating that my rav is still hanging around, confused and concerned. Not around me, alas, but around others who desperately need him, still.

And it seems to me, that the earthly plane continues in some grey land of souls, in an alternative and corresponding plane, where the dead need to work out their stuff. And there is no shining light of awakening, remorse, and moving on. Yeesh. I want to know that souls move on! Though others may be comforted, I am not.

My accidental foray into this shadow world makes me grateful for the Torah interdiction. I would like to think that G-d is not so unkind, that G-d shows us the way once we are dead. That life after death is not another ordeal or another trial that leaves us hooked to this planet, and material and emotional life. Honestly, it's so unimaginative! So, deadening.

The upshot of what I've learned that I must do, is that while my rav continues to be embroiled in earthly matters, all we can do is pray, and that other than that, nothing but "a higher power", in my friend's words, can release him. Well, I am praying double time, just in case, but I am pissed.

In the end, the Torah is my comfort on so many levels. More so, every day.